glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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