I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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