kristin has been a bad kristin
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
