so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
