writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just high enough for therapy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
