How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
