Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
