dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
