i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
