My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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