She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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