Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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