so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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