My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
