how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
