He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
my liver is dry heaving
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
