I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
