Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
