The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
