I'm going to jail i love you
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
