Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize