So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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