Can Purell be used as lube?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
