R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
