Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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