Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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