I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
