just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
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