Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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