I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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