are you still at the devil's house?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
