does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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