i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you had me at cake vodka
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
