dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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