Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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