3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize