:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
