I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize