My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
