it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
