why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
