this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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