Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We have started to decorate penises.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
