so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize