Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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