Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
