No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
