We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
