There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
