the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
