He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
