In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize