I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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