16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
