Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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