No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
