just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
