I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
