Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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